FANTASTIC PERFORMANCES: FLASHBACK!

 

 

Doctor Teeth, level 2

The story begins one night before the Festival of the Moon. Doctor Teeth wanders into the inn and flops down in a chair and props his boots up on the table. He tosses some coins on the table and orders “groovy food and drink.” Meanwhile, Salamir and No Name have a sharp pain in their heads with flashes of memories. They realize they remember Doctor Teeth from …

 

… THREE MONTHS EARLIER …

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“I remember it like it was three months ago,” says Doctor Teeth. “I was in the town of Seaside. I was putting on one of my shore performances selling t-shirts, hats, curative tonics, craft brewed beer, and cannabis-infused baked goods. After I finished my set, I noticed these two cool cats, well, actually only one of them was a cat. Anyway, it was  Salamir al’Skamos and NoName the Tabaxi. I was conversating with these two wandering minstrels when NoName the catboy started chasing this crabman across the beach. Salamir started running after him, so naturally, I joined the chase. I didn’t have anything better to plus the Tiefling hadn’t yet paid for the brownie he was eating.”

“Yeah, so anyway, the Crabman steals our stuff and we chase him across the beach. After Salamir put a hurting on the dude for hefting our goods, we met with the loyal police guards and they explained the sea caves and Merfolk. The guard was heavy, man, and knew a lot of big words. I didn’t catch a lot of what he was saying on account that he was The Man and I was worried about if Seaside had any laws against intoxication in public and all that.”

“After the fuzz left with the Crabman, we decided that it was time to head into town for some eats. On the way to the Cliffton Inn, I saw the Hesperis arrived back quite early. I knew the pirate ship shouldn’t be back already, so’s I was curious. I decided after a decent meal and a long smoke, I’d head down to the docks and check things out.”

“The Cliffton is my crash pad. I do some gigs for them and they give me some food and a place to lay my head. It’s cool. I sat outside of the Cliffton Inn with Salamir and Noname, taking one of the tables overlooking the docks. We got our food. Noticed barbarian bouncers who were watching some Kenku, a Sea Elf chick, and some dude wearing a far-out fishbowl helmet. Everything was chill, though until Salamir decided to blow some bad vibes through his hurdy-gurdy.”

“Salamir tried to get all up into the Sea Elf chick’s digs but his tune was a real downer. No wonder they said they were wandering minstrels with those kinds of tunes. So anyway after we chowed down, we went down to the docks to see what the Hesperis was doing back in town so soon and I looked for Artemis Farrow, the Captain. Going down on to the docks, we walked out on to the platform pier made of stone. I noticed a Kenku wearing a crossways shortsword with a silver wolf’s head on the pommel from the town of Thrift. Those kind of swords are really cool, man, so I decided to help the guy out by selling him a coil of rope claiming it was “magical” for 3 gold. The only thing magical about it was that I had soaked it in a vat of Electric Kool-Aid the night before. It was a groovy rope.”

“We went to the Hesperis and talked with one of the sailors that I recognized. The whole situation was a major bummer. A dragon turtle had attacked the ship and the Captain fell overboard. It’s a huge ship. I’m not sure how he could fall off it like that. I was thinking about that a missed a lot of what the sailor told me but luckily Salamir and Noname were listening and stuff. They’re good at listening. They like listen real good, man.”

“I was interested in seeing the sick and wounded. They took us on the ship and led us to the sickhouse with all the wounded. The devilman and catdude played healing songs to sooth their injuries and I uses three healing spells to tend to guys who were most wounded. Afterward, we were invited to dine at the Captain’s table and had some good grub. Noname saved the night with a performance of the Tetris theme song played at twice the normal speed. The crew also allowed us to look at their wares for trade. Noname seemed to really like this pigsticker called “The Kill Stick”, a magic rapier. Salamir got all greased up over a lead on a magical Hurdy Gerdy. I saw a nice magical tooth that I might want to buy later.”

“Acting Captain Wayfare invited us to his chambers to make a request:  go to a Lizardman city to find out information and stuff. I thought he might have some groovy chicks in his chambers for us to party with but it didn’t turn out that way. Devilman and Catdude talked with the Captain while I did a few hits of my homebrew rye ergot blend. I was tripping out pretty good by the time we left the ship and headed back to the Inn.”

“I did my usual opening set, and read a few poems. I don’t know what I said because I was pretty lit. Luckily Devilman and Catdude laid down some groovy licks with me. We made music like musicians do. It was laid back and groovy, man. I finished out the set with “Green Tamborine” before we ended the show. The locals seemed to like it. My little Kenku friend was there with the fishbowl man. I decided that maybe the two of them were with the Five-O fuzz so I hid backstage until they left. It might have just been a little paranoia from the acid and THC. I dunno, man. Either way, it was all good.”

“We planned to go to the Lizardman village the next morning. I don’t remember a lot of the trip to the village because I was smoking a lot of ganja while trying to commune with my god. What I do remember is that I pocketed a magic dagger from some bummer wizard of fire.”

“It was righteous.”

 

 

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